I am in the middle of writing the show notes for the first eight episodes of my podcast. I am experiencing a good amount of flow in doing this, having completed 5 of the 8 episodes inside three days, and am on track to launch next week.
I have noticed something happen to me in the pause between my writing, when I have completed the show notes for one episode and am having a break before I start the next. There is a real sense of doubt that I can repeat the effort of writing the notes for another show. I feel like I may well have extinguished all ability to coherently write, as if there is a finite reserve of words inside my head, and the previous effort was all I had left to give.
This uncertainty and fear prevents me from even starting to write. I don't want to commit to starting just to find out that there are no words left to flow through my pen. What would I do? How would I cope with this catastrophic scenario?
I recently completed a thirty day challenge to write non-stop for 15 minutes each day, without worrying about the coherence or punctuation or profoundness of what I was writing. To write whatever it was the flowed through my consciousness. The freedom this exercise gave me is something that has extended beyond writing. The thing I learnt was that I have had a belief that it is only acceptable to take something from my head and put it into the world if I knew it was going to be perfect. The truth is that it will never be perfect the first time, and it can never be understood and refined until it is in a tangible rather than intellectual form.
This thinking has held me back in so many areas - creating art, learning new skills, starting businesses, meeting new people. Time to allow whatever it is inside me to flow, and only then to try and understand what it is I am creating.