Who is serving who: blog v blogger

Last week I had some sick kids at home with me. Added to this were work stresses (mainly my difficulty in finding some), and I found myself in the position where my focus was getting through the bare essentials.

And I think this is okay. Writing this blog is a vehicle for me, not a chore. It is something I do to express myself, and I have been putting pressure on myself to produce something almost every day.

There will be seasons when I write daily, and seasons when I don't write for a week. That is the nature of this medium for me, and how it best serves me.

And this week I am really looking forward to writing about some current thoughts I am having.

Disjointed commitment

I have made a commitment to myself to write a blog post every day until further notice. Today that means I am struggling for a topic I consider worthy of writing about. That is not to say I have not had anything interesting happening in the past 24 hours. There has been plenty.

For example, I have felt like my exercise in trying to develop a new food product is destined to be too hard and expensive. I have felt like my new life as a single, part-time dad who is trying to live with meaning and purpose is unrealistic and naive. And then for all those feelings to reverse again, and me thinking that just maybe those things I yearn for and feel in my guts are possible.

As I meditated last night I wept. Grief is catching up with me today.

I will continue in my commitment to write a blog post every day, even if it is disjointed and lacking in profound truth.