I'll show them...

When I feel aggrieved, when I have been let down by somebody, when somebody doubts my ability, I find myself thinking, 'I'll show them. One day they will be envious, wish they had never doubted me. I'm going to do something amazing.'

Three thoughts come to my mind soon after this:

1) By the time I do get to wherever I am going, they are probably not going to care or even know who I am

2) By the time I get to where I am going, I am not going to care or know who they are

3) If I start doing things just to prove people wrong, I am in all likelihood going to start working on things that are not quite right for me

So I let those who doubt me, give up on me, move on from me do so as their decision. It has no bearing on me and what I am doing. What I am doing comes from a place within, and I do it to meet a deep desire from that place; to bring into the world that thing which only I can bring; to experience that moment of bliss that only comes when I know I have followed my path.

The post I will look back on in years to come

I have put my first podcast out there to a few more trusted friends. I don't know if it is because I am quite sensitive about putting something new out into a small section of the world, or if its because I'm actually not that good. But I am not getting an overwhelming sense that people are having their socks blown off by my work!

I have a confidence though that I can do this. That I can get really good at interviewing people for a podcast. That I can learn and refine my craft over time.

What I think I need to hear from these first few people is something along these lines:

This is a great first podcast. I love the way you ask questions, and I really found it interesting. It is great that you are incorporating a sense of place into the recording, and you will find a way to get the balance with the right amount of noise. Keep working at it. Keep listening to yourself. And keep backing yourself in what you are creating why you are creating it.

Instead what I am getting (or perhaps what I am hearing) is more like this:

Its hard telling a story through audio alone, isn't it? Perhaps you need to edit it a bit. Perhaps your microphones are not that good. Perhaps a bit more polish would be good.

In years to come I will either look back at this post and think that I was quite delusional - podcasting was something I needed to do, but it was not really my thing. Or I will look back and think that this was the start of a great journey of learning, exploring, and creating.