Get that one out of the way

The first time I do something I am often surprised at how badly I do it. I'm not sure if this is arrogance or ego. I assume I can be good at things first time round.  

What I have learnt is that the first time is bound to be poor. It isn't about quality. It's about learning.  

For example I took my kids to the snow yesterday. I had no idea the ordeal this would become. But we all learnt so much. We all want to come back one day. And the kids got a taste, feel and smell of something new. 

A new baseline

I remember in the past achieving a certain level of health or fitness, and then falling away from that, and then achieving it again.

It was like I had a limit that I was aiming for, a reference to a time in my youth where I was at my peak.

What I am finding is that I have learnt so much recently about what is possible for humans, for myself, that I have a new baseline.

There is no looking back any more, referencing what I used to be or how I used to feel. I feel so much better than that now. I am learning how to look after myself and to explore the wonders of existence.

And the more I learn and experience the more I see that there is so much more to explore and learn. There is no more looking back, only taking where I am now as a new baseline and platform for exploring all that I can be.

When tattslotto seems like the answer

I sometimes find myself dreaming about winning the lottery. I find it very hard to ignore what I could do with a $30M windfall. The thing that stops me buying a ticket is not actually the overwhelmingly poor odds. The thing that stops me is that I find myself asking the question, 'But what if I won?', and not liking the answer.

What would happen to my life? What would I miss out on learning? How would my sudden change of fortune change the way I am with people?

It seems like it would be a short cut to have all the finances I want right now. I would be able to launch my breath mint business. I would be able to design a build a family home. I would be able to push my podcast to be a revenue generating venture. But the fact is that right now I have all the finances I need to do the things I need to do. I have enough to send my kids to school, to buy food, to pay the rent, to start the businesses. A large influx of cash would not actually push forward my current ventures in a sustainable way.

What I think I am craving when I fantasise about winning the lottery is not having to go through the uncertain times I know are ahead: the times of wondering how it will turn out; the times of feeling uncomfortable; and the times of feeling like I am out on a limb all by myself.

And it is these feelings and living through them that are actually the marrow of life. They can't be purchased with any amount of money, and ironically money can actually rob us of the opportunity to have these experiences and learn these lessons. 

Right now I move forward knowing that I have everything I need. And when the temptation of a $30M jackpot is too much to resist, luckily the odds are stacked against me.