Working hours

In my head I know how ridiculous it is to think that the most important thing about my work is that I am sitting at my desk at certain hours for a certain amount of time. But I am finding it hard to challenge and shake that sense of guilt when I am not at my desk when I feel I am suppose to be there.

It is a legacy of being a consultant for so long, billing the client by the hour and having the feeling of being watched.

I am encouraged by those I work around that they don't have this assumption. They encourage me, implicitly more than explicitly, to where when and where suits me. Results are paramount over location.

Today I tried to do it all...find the fastest way into school, workout in the morning, and get into work before 9. It was a failure on most accounts...but it lead me to this new way of thinking.

So tomorrow morning after dropping my kids at school I will be doing some work from home before heading into the office. I will avoid the peak hour rush. I will be more effective and less stressed when I do work.

Reflections on work

I'm not sure if this will be dry or interesting, but over the next few days I am going to post my reflections on being back in paid employment after 18 months of working for myself.

I want to note what seems weird and strange and different this time round, before I become normalised to all this craziness.

A new mindset for a new job

Today I start a new job. Although it is not my own business and I am working for somebody else, I find myself thinking like an entrepreneur.

This could be due to this business being a relatively new business - a start-up. It could be because this business is about creating tech disruption within government departments for citizen oriented change.

It could be because after a year away from being employed I am able to see this job less as a career move and something I plan to do for the next five years, and more as an amazing challenge to engage in for this moment with unknown and exciting implications for whatever is next.

The uncertainty of now

One of the hardest things for me to write about is the uncertainty of looking for a job, which is what I am experiencing right now.

It is hard because in the back of my mind I am wondering 'what if one of those people who I am looking to work with reads this post?'. This then changes what I write about.

So what I am writing is slightly moderated; safe for work as they say.

The matter is pretty simple: I want to earn some income. I don't know the manner in which I am going to do this. It is causing me angst. I am doing all kinds of things to distract myself from the discomfort.

What I want to do is to be able to sit with the discomfort. And that is what writing about this reminds me to do: sit; be; feel; observe. See where it leads. Observe where it has come from.

The truth is anything can happen. Things change quickly. I have faith.