Looking responsible

I used to go to church every Sunday, and while there was a lot of not so sound thinking coming from the pulpit, every now and then there was a pearl. 

One particular Sunday a travelling preacher made a comment that has stuck with me to this day. The comment was along the lines of, as we get older, every one of us is in a large way responsible for the way we look.

I was a teenager around the time that I heard this; a time when I was incredibly self-conscious about the way I looked. I had pimples and my body was changing. I did not like the way I looked, and at the time I did not want to think that I was responsible for this.

As I think about that comment now, I realise that at this point in my life it is true - the way I look, and how healthy I am, is in a big part because of the decisions I have made. I am responsible for the way I look.

There are so many ways the decisions we make impact on how we look: the job we choose; the food we eat; the way we move; the scars we have; the plastic surgeon we choose.

Something I realised recently is that even the lines on my face I am responsible for. I meditate regularly, and have become aware of different poses I hold on my face, usually in an unconscious way. I have a particularly big furrow between my eyes, however when I am relaxed and free of anxiety, this furrow disappears.

I don't think that we are responsible for every part of the way we look today. Obviously genes, tragedy, and the actions of other have an impact. But I find it useful and empowering to think that I have some responsibility, and therefore control, over the way I look from this point onwards.

Laundry List Item #37: It is most important to run out of scapegoats.

When I get myself into a pickle, noticing that I am spending my time with people I don't want to spend it with, doing things I actually don't want to do, my first reaction is to think of who to blame; who put me in this situation?

And gradually it dawns on me that I am the one that created this situation, this life. I choose to keep living where I live, to do that work I do, to spend my days how I spend them. My family or friends or government do not lock me into this. I am not bound by anything other than what I choose to be bound by.

This humbling thought is also redemption. It means that I can have a say in my own destiny. 

Running out of scapegoats is freedom, because now I take responsibility for my own life, for how I spend each moment.