No comparison

I remember growing up thinking that I wanted to do better than others. I wanted to achieve more than my dad did.

Now that I have kids of my own, I realise there is nothing more that I want than for my kids to achieve more than me. And my idea of achievement has shifted so much that it is nothing like what I used to imaging achieving when I was a kid.

Achievement for me now means something more along the lines of the awareness to know myself and listen to myself, awareness of the reality of the context of my existence, the courage to live according to the truth I understand from this awareness, and the skills to put this courage into practise.

There is no competition. We are all on a path that is bound to the path of those around us. We are all here to help each other grow and achieve. I thank my dad for helping me the way he has. I enjoy nothing more than helping my kids on their own path.

Benefits of the hardest route

I do love a good sports analogy, and one that has stuck with me is based around rugby and something the coach of the Melbourne Storm said a few years ago.

In rugby most of the really big, strong and heavy people are in the front and middle of the field, with the faster and more nibble either behind them or on the edges. When attacking, it is often tempting for the team with the ball to go wide and try and break through where it would seem there is less resistance.

Melbourne Storm's approach was different. They would attack the pack in the middle of the field, where the opposition were apparently strongest and most difficult to break through. Their rationale was that if they could break down the opposition where they were strongest they would tear them to shreds and score prolifically. This proved to be a very successful tactic for the Storm over a number of seasons.

The reason why this has stuck with me is because I often think about it in terms of the work I am doing, or problems I am having with people, or other issues in my life.

When confronted with these kind of scenarios I often want to try to solve them by doing what seems to be the easiest thing, whether it be the most simple task, avoiding a conversation, or working on the periphery instead of the core.

I am all for finding the easiest and simplest ways to do things. But that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the situation where I know there is something difficult to be done, and I fool myself into thinking that I can get around it, or put it off until later.

What this analogy reminds me to do is to go and do the hard thing first: have the hard conversation; make the difficult phone call; do the intense thinking. Because in doing that thing I can break the whole game open, and actually make life easier for myself sooner.

Writing Fling #2: Awareness and Action

The second in a series of pieces I wrote in the midst of turmoil last year.

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Let it out. Open the suitcase. Find out what is in there. You cannot change the contents. They are what they are. Looking brings light to the unknown. Once it is seen and know, then you can decide what to do. Without the light there is only guessing, and bad guessing leads to ignorant action.

Knowing what is there may bring fear, discomfort, pain, joy, laughter. It will bring truth though. And it will set you free.

Because it is the way to live - according to what is real; reality. That is the way to good decision making, aligned action. 

Aligned with what?

With nature, the universe, my body. Integrity is the key world. A cohesive whole. Pure. Making sense. Ringing true. Radiating.

Listening to the conscience is opening the suitcase. Aligned action can be taken once the conscience is understood. But it is not necessitated by it. Acting is different to looking, and takes a different type of courage. The courage to trust what you see and hear. To back yourself. To know that it will be okay if you follow your path.

Okay then...what does following your path mean?

It does not mean safe. It does not mean risk. It means acting within yourself; you will be at peace. A peaceful warrior.

I know it is the action I am struggling with at the moment. Feeling okay with disappointing people. Let them down gently, but let them down if that is the aligned action. Let them feel it. Don't butt in and save them. It is not saving. It is denying. And both will suffer as a result. 

Do the thing that needs to be done.