Laundry List Item 9: There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.

There is no particular reason why I lost out on some things. I was not particularly unworthy and therefore missed out. I was not particularly worthy of being a noble survivor who needed to show how well I could survive. I just missed out. I could have just has easily received.

Today is a day when I needed to be reminded of this. There is no particular reason why my personality is slightly more geared to seriousness than humour. Why I am shorter rather than taller. Why I am struggling through a serious life change. Why I persisted in a career I didn't like for so long. Why I have a broken heart.

These things happened. I experience the consequences of them. I have the opportunity to respond based on the things that I did receive. Humility. Determination. Smarts. Integrity. Fairness. Resilience. Health.

Tonight I feel like rubbish. I feel the energy has been sucked right out of me. I don't like how my body feels and looks. It aches for no apparent reason.

If I am going to thrive through this situation, I need to give myself the very best chance, and rely on my strengths. This means eating amazingly well. Exercising for the long term. Getting to bed early. Exercising. And focusing on brining the truth inside me to life.