Let's pretend

Last night I made a decision. The decision was to live as if I felt amazing. As if I was feeling like I had all I wanted right now in this moment. To live the way I would live if all those things that have been playing on my mind did not matter.

I know the effects of this decision are currently very early on in their life, but I think there is something in it. I want to see if I can sustain it, and come back to it when I stop doing this.

And this is how I want to live:

  • I want to get up at 5am each morning, meditate, read a book, move, shower, have breakfast, write a blog post, all before 7:30.
  • I then want to work during the morning on creativity-intensive, solo activities, like editing podcasts, writing, planning
  • At lunch I want to exercise
  • After lunch I want to spend my time on more socially oriented work activities, or reading books.
  • At night I want to eat with other people, and potentially socialise with friends or family
  • I want to be in bed before 9pm so I can get 8 hours sleep and be up at 5am.

There are some things missing from my life. But really they amount to this: I am not getting a steady income. This is partly my choice because I have been on a gap year. But while I am waiting for this to happen, I don't want to idly wait. I will live the way I would want to be living if that income was actually appearing in my bank account.