Expectations short and long

People usually overestimate what they can do in the short-term, and underestimate what they can do in the long term -- Chris Judd

In terms of key lessons learnt, this was right up there with those I learnt last year: that daily, incremental action will have a much bigger impact than what I expect. Conversely, big one-off benefits will have much less of long-term impact than I will expect.

It is unlikely that I will change my life by the end of the week. But by the end of next year, I may have a business that is earning me a livelihood, a podcast that has an audience in the thousands, and be in the best physical, mental and emotional shape of my life.

Or I could have something else completely.

Anniversaries are felt in the body

Today is an anniversary of a traumatic event in my life. My wife moved out of our house today, one year ago. Compounding this trauma, over the next month are three events that were once happy annual events in my life: my birthday, my son's birthday, and Christmas. Thinking about them now brings up feelings of profound sadness and grief.

I have been doing some reading (Mayo, Tim Hill, and Theravive) about the triggers, length, and manifestations of grief. Yes, anniversaries are definitely a trigger, sometimes even unconscious anniversaries. No, nobody knows how long a person's particular grief process will take (but 2 years seems to be a minimum for the end of a marriage). Yes, allowing yourself to go with your body's unique way of processing grief is the way to go (tears, curling up in bed, talking to friends).

While today marks the end of something in my life, it also marks the start of something. I had a horrible night's sleep last night. I know I am going to need to hang out with some friends today. I have a ton of negative energy floating around and through my head, telling me that I should just go back to my old way of living. In spite of all this, I am going to start a new ritual to mark the occasion that I was given another chance to find and live my own life. 

The first part of the ritual is on the day itself - I will buy some new clothes on this day. Clothes that I love. Clothes that I look good in. Clothes that are me.

The second part of the ritual is later in the week - as this anniversary falls on the week of my birthday, I am going to celebrate my birthday each year with my friends. Because it is not just a birthday celebration any more. It is the celebration of a new life.

I would never leave the house without brushing my teeth

Before I leave the house in the morning I always brush my teeth. The thought of inflicting my stale morning breath on another unsuspecting human is more than enough to ensure I maintain this life long habit. 

I was thinking about this and in a way how insignificant a bit of bad breath is. What other things am I inflicting on my fellow unsuspecting humans by not preparing adequately in the mornings? I have come up with a list of things I want to do every morning, and the possible implications to others and myself if I don't.

1) Drink a glass of water: dehydration, headaches, grumpiness, lack of concentration

2) Exercises: poor posture, achey body, grumpiness, distractedness, poor energy flow

3) Gratitude: selfishness, narrowness, depression, unhappiness

4) Intention: drifting through the day, lack of purpose

5) Meditate: mindlessness, unable to listen well, poor decision making

6) Blog: constrictive expression, thoughtlessness, lack of giving

7) Nutritious breakfast: hunger, grumpiness, poor nutrition, sickness, lack of energy and zest

8) Supplements: poor gut health, sickness, lack of energy and zest

9) Hot and cold shower: smelly, no wild man energy, poor care for my body

10) Teeth: bad breath, decaying teeth, gum disease, heart disease

11) Mindfully dressed: look out of alignment, feel shabby, lack of confidence

I have a hunch that to give myself the opportunity of being the best I can be on any particular day, these are the things I need to do each morning. It seems like a lot, but I reckon that the difference in my day and the impact I can have on others by doing these things, it is probably not that much at all.