Too much going on

There are too many things in my life right now. Podcast. Job. Start-up. Kids. Speaking gigs. 

The problem is I enjoy them all, and think they are all important things for me to be doing right now. It is the season for all of them.

There are consequences though. The first is my social life - I do not have the space or energy to invest in relationships like I want to. The second is creative energy - once again, I don't have the space and energy to reflect and draw my creativity out. The third is presence - as I am putting more into each day, my base level of stress seems to rise and I check my phone more, rush more from place to place.

What to do? Is this just a season in my life? Can I make the space and energy I need? I want to connect and create and be present.

As a start, here are some things to do that will create some more space and energy in my life:

1) Outsource: the editing of my podcast sucks out my energy and time. I can outsource this

2) Reduce living costs: I have some regular expenses in my life that I can reduce, which would also reduce my stress

3) Say no: there are somethings, some catchups that are not quite right for me. In saying no to them I say yes to space and energy for creativity, friendships, and presence.

If I had no clock...

The strange thing about checking the time is that it slows me down. The very act of checking the time takes time. Knowing that I am running late makes me stressed and less effective in doing what I need to do. Knowing that I am running early tends to relax me and slow me down.

However, there is that thing about deadlines and how they tend to make me get stuff done. 

So then, would it be useful to not check my clock at certain times? Like in the morning when we are all rushing to get out the door. Would it be more useful to simply focus on the necessities of what what needs to be done, and let time take care of itself?

An experiment for the next week as I go back to work, and my mornings get doubly crazy.

Thoughts on food

Two things are changing in the way I feel about food and eating. 

The first is that I am going from a base assumption that I eat for pleasure and that good food is food that makes me feel good when I have it in my mouth. What I am moving towards is a base assumption that I eat for function, and that good food is food that makes me feel good for the day, week, and year after I have had it in my mouth.

Building upon this, the second is that I am being challenged about the quantity and quality of the food I eat, and therefore the amount of money I spend on food. Food has been an area I have tried to minimise spend on as much as possible. In moving to a different foundation, I realise that money spent on food is not money wasted. It is actually an investment in myself and how well I am able to show up in each moment.

I have no idea how to take my kids along on the same journey...but that can be a topic for another day.


Doing the work in front of me

Sometimes my anxiety takes me to a place where I am thinking about the work I can't yet do.

Like right now I need to find some new guests for my podcast so I can continue to release an episode each week. I am starting to get worried that I am not going to have an interview to publish as I cannot seem to talk with the people I want to get on the show.

Then I sit down and think about it for a minute: I actually have people around me right now who would be great for the show, and are willing to be interviewed.

Therefore I will do the interview that is in front of me now, and not worry about the interview I cannot get for the future.

Needs and Wants

I have been pondering the difference between needs and wants. I read The Peaceful Warrior recently, and one of the quotes in there was:

You are rich if you have enough money to satisfy all your desires.  So there are two ways to be rich: You earn, inherit, borrow, beg, or steal enough money to meet all your desires; or, you cultivate a simple lifestyle of few desires; that way you always have enough money.  A peaceful warrior has the insight and discipline to choose the simple way – to know the difference between needs and wants.  We have few basic needs but endless wants.

I have heard a few people recently talking about getting what they want in life, and this has caused me to reflect on the things I want and what they may be revealing about what I actually need.

I know the times I am happiest are when I am content with what I have in this moment. Sometimes when my world seems to be caving in, I ask myself 'What is actually happening right at this very moment?', and usually the answer is 'Not much'. I am breathing. I am sitting. My body is functioning. I have shelter and food in the fridge. I have family and friends who I can call. I have all the things I need to live for the next second, minute, hour, day, week.

There are things I want. Many things. Like building a meaningful business. Intimacy. Building a family home. I put these things out there as things that I want, and I trust that as I take care of my needs on a daily basis, when some of the things I want momentarily come my way, I will enjoy them for what they are.

Laundry List, Item 4: We are already dying, and we'll be dead a long time

There is a song that my friend introduced me to a few weeks ago called 'Say' by John Mayer. The song is about saying the thing you need to say, and it being better to say too much than to say nothing at all.

The song speaks to me of honest expression, something I have struggled with most of my life. I often feel like my thoughts are dangerous, and that if I express them people will run from me. I am slowly understanding that allowing ideas and thoughts to flow through me and out of my mouth in an honest way helps to build authentic connection with others, normalising the reality of living for myself and those I talk with.

This is the moment to do the thing I think I need to do. This is of course after giving it some consideration; its not about being reckless. But once I know that something needs to be done, something needs to be said, to say it. If it is not said, then it creates a tension in my body where that feeling is held, and the relationship with the person I need to talk with stalls. I am stopping the next thing from unfolding in a timely manner.

We will be dead a long time, and we have a limited number of moments. Each moment is important. There are no ordinary moments. There is no need to save something for a later moment, because it will have its own awe when it arrives.

I commit to summoning the courage to say the things I need to say in the moment they need to be said.